Every single day this week I have felt like crying. I have actually cried once so far this week. Like the kind of crying that is so physically exhausting that you just want to sleep for 100 years after you’re done.
My anxiety is so bad that I have also felt physically ill every day. I have constant headaches, dizziness, light headed ness, and I basically just feel like death every day.
I have so many thoughts and feelings collected inside my head that I feel as though I might explode. I have no one to talk to about anything. Which I know is all my fault. I’ve messed up probably every single one of my relationships with all the people I care about. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what a shitty, selfish person I am.
I just want my anxiety to go away. It is wrecking my body. I don’t know what to do or who to talk to. It’s all just building up and I’m at maximum capacity for the amount of crap I can hold in. Some days I think it would just be easier if I woke up dead. Then I couldn’t hurt anyone anymore.
I’m crap at being a person.